Awesome Autism

I had this great plan to publish this post at the beginning of the month in celebration of Autism Awareness month. Unfortunately, time got away from me and my blog took a backseat to life.

As I just said, April is Autism Awareness month, promoted on television, in magazines and on the internet. Organizations like Autism Speaks have done a wonderful job educating people on the signs of autism, the need for early intervention services and encouraging the acceptance of people with autism.

Very important work they’re doing over there at Autism Speaks, but here in my house, we’re already well aware of autism and what it means. Eighteen years ago this month, I was fortunate enough to become Mom to one of the funniest, most talented and kindest people this world will ever know. Haleigh Macon was born in  the wee hours of the morning April 26, 2001. She is amazing and also happens to have autism. It’s part of her charm.

The old adage of “If you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.”, does NOT hold true for people with autism. If you’ve met one person with autism, you’ve met exactly one very specific person with autism. Yes, there are common themes and behaviors, but like the rest of the world, each person with autism is unique.

You might notice that I don’t say autistic person, but rather person with autism. That’s because autism doesn’t define Haleigh, it’s just one part of her. As a matter of fact, telling Haleigh she had autism did not even happen until she was about fifteen. Some backstory here, Haleigh had limited verbal skills until she was six or seven and has always been in special classes and received therapies at school. I didn’t intentionally withhold the information, but I never wanted her to think there was something wrong with her. I also didn’t want her to think she had an excuse to misbehave or not follow the rules her siblings had to follow. Obviously, I took her diagnosis into consideration when discipline was necessary, but autism doesn’t equal a free pass in life.

I was reading a book by Temple Grandin (google her if you don’t know who she is) and she said she was so relieved when she was diagnosed with autism because she finally understood why she had so many social difficulties. She had always wondered what was wrong with her, but now she knew nothing was ‘wrong’. She just had a condition that made social interaction and other aspects of her life more difficult. Anyhow, I read this and decided maybe I should have this talk with Haleigh. I asked her if she knew what autism was (she didn’t) and we talked about what it meant to have autism. Suddenly, she exclaimed, “Mom! Do you think maybe I have autism?” I told her yes, she did have autism. To which she responded, “Oh. So, what are we doing this weekend?” That’s it. No fuss, no devastation, just acceptance as fact and moving on with her day.

That is one of my favorite things about Haleigh. I often warn new people not to be offended by what might come out of her mouth. She is known to make blunt observations. But her statements are nothing more than that. They are just declarations of how she sees the world with no implied or attached judgements. When they were learning about nutrition in school, she would often tell anyone who was overweight that if they ate better food and exercised more, they wouldn’t be fat. To her this was more like a public service announcement, not an insult. She genuinely thought that perhaps they just didn’t possess that knowledge. In her mind, it doesn’t make any difference what someone looks like and when I pointed out she could hurt someone’s feelings, she felt terrible. Once she asked me why my skin was so flappy. Uh, thanks Haleigh.

Something else I love is her complete lack of self consciousness. Haleigh has a beautiful singing voice and often takes part in school shows and concerts. I have never seen her nervous about performing. She just gets up there and does her thing. In fact, when she was younger, she was so animated during chorus concerts at school the other parents would find us after the show to compliment her. They would tell me that watching her was their favorite part. One time she wore a kimono over her dress because they were singing a Japanese song. The plan was to remove the kimono after that song. That was the plan. The next song was a pop song that started slow, then the beat dropped. Before the song started, she untied her kimono, but didn’t remove it. I literally said to myself, “Uh oh. Something’s gonna happen.” I was right. When that beat dropped, she whipped that kimono open like a Vegas show girl. The whole audience lost it, laughing and cheering. It was the best. I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe. When I asked her about it later, she said, “I gotta give the people what they want.” It’s still one of my favorite stories.

Autism doesn’t define her. It’s just one part her personality. She’s witty and kind. She has an amazing sense of humor. She loves puns and Jeff Dunham. If I could give her a miracle pill and take away her autism, I’m not sure I would. Yeah, it might make some stuff easier for her, but it also might take away some of her magic. There is no one else in the world like her and I couldn’t be more proud of the young woman she is.

Click the links below for more information on Autism Spectrum Disorder and to see Haleigh in action.

*This post was approved and titled by Haleigh.

https://www.autismspeaks.org/